Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
jump out the window naked night went bad
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
