so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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