Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
