How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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