Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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