Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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