I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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