And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
