Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
