i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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