I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
