How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
