I am puke
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
