in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
