last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
