please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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