Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
