Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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