Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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