Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
4 words: hood of his car
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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