theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
