oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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