it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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