i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
