So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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