Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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