: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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