need another drink. this is the easiest way
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
