I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
