I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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