i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
