We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
