just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
