Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
