i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
