i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
