I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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