We won't sleep together?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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