This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
