oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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