We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
