That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
