We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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