I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
