Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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