someone get that fucking seahorse.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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