He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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