Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
