I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
