He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
why is half of my head shaved?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
