A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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