dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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