it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
