Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
