Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize