her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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