I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
