the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
