I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
