Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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