My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize