If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
where am i from again
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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