Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
FUCK WHALES
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
