yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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