found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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