one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
