i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
