I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize